The Pattern: Attachment Skills Group

Sixty minutes on your lunch break

You know your attachment style. You have taken the quiz, read the book, and can explain anxious and avoidant to your friends with real authority.

You are still doing the thing.

Knowing the name of the pattern turns out not to be the same as being able to stop mid-pattern and do something else. The first one is information. The second one is a skill, and nobody taught it to you.

This group is for adults at any stage of it. Getting back out there after a marriage or a long relationship ended. Three months into something new and already bracing. Ten years in and tired of the same push and pull.

Led by Whitney Baker, LMFTA. Thirteen years of pattern work, Gottman-trained, attachment-based.

This is for you if

You are dating again after a divorce or a long relationship, and you can already feel the old script auditioning new people. You are newly with someone and cannot tell whether the anxiety means something is wrong or just means it is new. You are years into a committed relationship and stuck in the same push and pull, where one of you reaches and the other one steps back and neither of you meant to end up there.

Or you have a partner who has no interest in therapy, and you are done waiting for them to be ready before you get better.

This is about changing how you show up, whether or not your partner changes anything.

All of you came alone, on purpose, because you already know your side of it needs work. That instinct is correct and it is rarer than you think.

What we cover

Ten weeks, one skill per week, each one built to run under stress:

Catching the pattern in real time. Staying in the room when everything in you wants to withdraw. Asking for something without over-explaining or pre-apologizing. Receiving without bracing for the catch. Disagreeing without disappearing. Repairing after you get it wrong, because you will get it wrong. Reading your own signals before they become the whole evening. Keeping the new moves when the old situation shows up again.

Why noon

Sixty minutes, noon to one, back to your desk by one. On purpose. Nobody has to leave work early, explain an appointment, or account for where they were.

Your partner does not need to be involved and does not need to know.

What this is not

This is not group therapy and it is not a support circle. It is a skills class with four to six people in it, and it moves. You will not be asked to share more than you want to, and nobody is going to hand you a worksheet about love languages.